It's been a rather and gloomy day today. Firstly, the weather was damn freaking cold! and secondly, we got back our history elective, Social Studies and english papers. Guess What? I passed Social studies! But honestly, it was just a scrape-thru and i'm not really happy with that kind of passing mark. I honestly wish that I had started studying much earlier than i did, unfortunately i didn't. Now, i'm feeling guilty. Why hadn't I started mugging one month before the exam? Was it because i didn't take the Finals seriously this year? Or was it out of pure laziness that i didn't really to any in-depth studying? I really ought to sit down quietly and question myself. Why is it that I am such a lazy person? I really need to be more hardworking in order to pull up my horrendously lousy and appalling grades. Perhaps, i had made the wrong choice by choosing a triple science class for my streaming last year. i should have just put option E? Is that the combination for phy, chem, pure geog and history elective? Sigh. It's really not easy to survive in this competitive world. I feel like a person who doesn't have a soul. I feel really really sadd. I wish this was just a dream. Wake me up, Somebody!! And tell me that this isn't happening. Unfortunately, such things only happen in shows? sigh. I choose not to believe that i had done so horribly in english. But, i have to stop deluding myself! I really got that low! it's true, and this isn't a dream. Actually, it's a nightmare- come- true for me. I feel so scaredd now. What if i do badly for the rest of the subject? I don't even think i can do well for one particular exam. HOW? somebody save me!! I'm really dying... Soon, my heart will cease to palpitate. Sigh.. i still can't believe i did so so badly for my english!! I'm really sadd... But, i much expected it. I should have been more focused when doing and maybe i'll get a higher pass. I really need to buck up! Because, looking at all my appalling results, i don't think i can even enter JC. I'll be a disgrace to be family then. i'll really really cry if i can't enter JC.

For all those who are hearing to my rants now, I am truly sorry over this entry. But i just can't help moaning and groaning over my results. If you were in my shoes, you would do the same thing right? Perhaps for the optimists, they would think it's foolish to moan over something that has already happened. Actually, by right, we should focus and channel all of our energy and try to improve the results, and not just moan! Yea! i shall do that!! I hope i can do that! If not, the only person who would suffer next year is me and only me, not anybody else.

Now, i'm quite sure that i will be in the extended studies. But i seriously hope not. However, if i'm really in it, i ought maximise and learn the most out of it during that period. Yea!! I need to study during the holidays!!! seriously!!!! i shall motivate myself!!